thoughts from heart

  Even though I had a cup of coffee in my hand, I couldn't relax. I knew my panic attack was just a step away. I was trying to breathe hard. There was still a lot of time, but I could sense it passing really soon. I was still pondering when someone broke my reverie. "There's a maddening rush. You sure you want to stay here till I board the flight?" Honestly my reaction was to punch him hard. Make it sure that he falls down on the ground and then kick him in chest. But I've been told that violence is not the answer. So, I sipped my coffee and stared at him as if daring him to speak again. For all those who are right now confused with 'him' and 'I', my name is Inayat and 'him' is none other than the person I love the most but can't have... Kabir. I've known Kabir for longest years and even though we love each other, destiny had something else in mind. So, here we are- hanging in between 'It's complicated'. Not that w

 “Ammu, you just stay here. Don’t move at all. I’ll get a steaming cup of chai for us.” Without waiting for a response, he rushed to get us chai. While Viv, (Vivaan to be precise) got us a cup of chai each, I couldn’t help but marvel the fact that I am head over heels in love with this guy whom I have met just a few months ago. I met Viv while I was shifting my base from being a full time Instructional Designer to a full time Fashion Entrepreneur. Out of nowhere, I came in contact with a much younger guy (trust me when I say young, I mean it) but at the same time having intelligence and aptitude of at least three entrepreneurs combined. I wanted direction regarding my venture and voila he was there. What started as respect followed by liking quickly escalated to something different altogether. I have had a series of relationships and honestly I was happy in my cocoon when Viv came in the picture. Unlike the guys of his age, he was focused and determined to another level. He knows what

I got off the cab and the familiar anxiety and happiness gripped me. I checked into the hotel, and literally fell on the bed. I was about to close my eyes when I got a message with an address. I groaned and went to take a shower. The sight of the bathtub tempted me but as if the sender had sensed my thoughts, my phone beeped again. 'Be there in 30 min max.' I felt like kicking my feet but honestly I didn't want to offend the sender. I quickly hopped into the shower got ready. The cab was already waiting for me and took me to the destination. The sight was beautiful. Admist the snow clad mountains there was a beautiful cottage, straight a sight from Yash Chopra movies. I was admiring the sight when the most chirpy voice fell in my ears.  "Comeon, where are you looking? I have been calling you, but it seems like you have gone deaf." This was Anirudh. Our relationship... slightly complicated, so let's try to decipher it during the story. One thing that was for su

  I checked into the first class lounge. Abhay and his friends made themselves comfortable while I tried to find a decent cup of coffee. No doubt the ambience, mood and probably food also looked delectable, still I could sense that coffee wasn't upto the mark. As if figuring out my disappointment, Abhay spoke, "Zainab, why don't you get a cup of coffee for yourself? You need it before flying." I smiled and felt like hugging him. He knew that not only I wanted coffee, but I also wanted to be alone for sometime while our friends enjoyed drinks and we officially start our vacation. "That would be perfect. There's still a lot of time for boarding, I'll get my coffee by then." I spoke and didn't wait for a single second for the rest of the persons to try to convince me.  I quickly paved my way to Starbucks, ordered a cup of coffee and secured a table for myself. Once seated I checked my watch and the boarding wouldn't be starting for another 2 hrs

Prologue- I was on a trip to Kasol with Shashank, my husband. While relishing my dinner, I bumped into Akshat. Akshat, the man I loved once. The man, I still love. My still. Even though I literally chickened out meeting him, at night when Shashank was sleeping, I went to meet Akshat.   I rung the bell and he opened it in less than a minute. He wasn’t surprised to see me. I went past him and he closed the door. Just like my room, his had a swing too. I snuggled comfortably on the swing. He looked at me and shook his head. He picked up whiskey bottle and poured me a generous amount and topped it up with ice and water. He handed me the glass and made coffee for himself. I smiled. He too. Even after all these years, we still knew each other. My attention turned to the TV. He was as usual watching some motorbike show. It was my time to nod now. We sat in silence for sometime. “Alia… I…” Before he could finish the sentence, I spoke. “Akshat, I’m not here to discuss what happened in b

It was that time of the year when all I desired was to be left alone. Over the years, I had realized that all I did (during this time) was to make people around me sad and at times angry. So, before they could vocalise it, I came up with an arrangement that I needed 10-15 days off so that I could do what I normally did- sulk and think. Now, before you get any wrong idea, the time I’m talking about is my birthday. My birthday used to be different. At least I used to celebrate it differently. Unlike others, I used to have pre birthday, birthday and post birthday. Trust me I don’t belong to a high society, but somehow my mother has always been more excited about my birthday than any other celebration. So, I was used to that. Used to the fact that I was cherished, not only on my birthday but every day by my mother (and yes, she loves me more than my father and my sister and they both know that). So, after she left birthdays became the most difficult days for me to pass. So, I decided