You are my Person

 “Ammu, you just stay here. Don’t move at all. I’ll get a steaming cup of chai for us.” Without waiting for a response, he rushed to get us chai.

While Viv, (Vivaan to be precise) got us a cup of chai each, I couldn’t help but marvel the fact that I am head over heels in love with this guy whom I have met just a few months ago. I met Viv while I was shifting my base from being a full time Instructional Designer to a full time Fashion Entrepreneur. Out of nowhere, I came in contact with a much younger guy (trust me when I say young, I mean it) but at the same time having intelligence and aptitude of at least three entrepreneurs combined. I wanted direction regarding my venture and voila he was there.

What started as respect followed by liking quickly escalated to something different altogether. I have had a series of relationships and honestly I was happy in my cocoon when Viv came in the picture. Unlike the guys of his age, he was focused and determined to another level. He knows what he wants out of life and has a solution for everything. I think so this was the first thing that attracted me in him. The ability to be in the Driver’s seat. No offence my all relationships had been great, however they were all receivers while I have them more than they deserved. For the first time, I came across a guy who could take care of me. And before you take any wrong notion of taking care of me… it means to be present for me emotionally and technologically (at times). Financially I know I can handle both of us.

However, over the period of time I started falling for him. Even though I’m progressive still at times you realise that society’s notions are engraved in you and they have a tendency to appear when you least expect them. My conscience started to affect me because there is a massive age gap in between us. Honestly I did try to keep my feelings at bay, but it was a futile effort. Viv somehow connected with that inner child of mine that I thought apart from my mother no one else saw. For everyone else I was this tough and strict go getter but for Viv I was never Amulya, but always Ammu. I still remember the shock on the faces of my employees when they heard a tall, lean, confident yet goofing around man call be Ammu in front of everyone when I was exploding like a volcano. 

But the fact is that this young fellow knows how to calm me down. He knows when I need what. Without saying a word coffee and cookies used to appear on my table the moment I was about to have my panic attack thinking that I have taken a wrong decision. There have been times when I have been engulfed in a strong yet assuring hug the moment my demons used to knock at my door. How he does it? I have no idea. And whenever I have tried to ask it, he tells me he has super powers. 

Kiddish right? But it has been saving me from myself. All this while. And before I realised that it would be too late if I didn’t tell him how I felt, I found him in front of my door telling me that he is in love with me. I was too dumbfound to answer and as usual he shook his head and engulfed me in his beary hug. I don’t think I could have asked for anything else apart from that. 

Being with him is so easy. None of us have to pretend. I still have to know a lot about him, but he knows me as if I’m his second skin. Finally it feels great to be with someone who knows you inside and out and you can depend upon him. Even though I am the elder one, still he behaves like one and I’m the one who throws tantrums and he not only listens to me patiently but has remained with me all this while when I wouldn’t have remained with myself at all.

I saw him returning with two cups of chai and my heart swelled with love and affection that I have never felt before. He gave me my chai and quirked his eyebrows as if asking me what was going on my mind. “I love you Viv. I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone this much apart from one person and you know it. And I’m not saying all this because being in a relationship it’s expected out of me, I’m saying this because after years I’ve got my person. The person with whom I can be my worst, someone in front of whom I can have a meltdown and not worry about the same. I am allowed to be weak because I know I’ll come out as strong. But most importantly I love you because you are my person. The person somehow I had been waiting for all this time. So thank you for knowing it somehow that I need proper direction in being an Entrepreneur but most importantly for loving me.”

He looked at me as if he was at loss of words and then with the sweetest smile that can shine even my darkest days he replied, “I love you more Ammu.” And just like that we sipped our chai together while sitting on a wooden bench while the clouds poured their heart out and we just snuggled and enjoyed our tea.