thoughts from heart

  I checked into the first class lounge. Abhay and his friends made themselves comfortable while I tried to find a decent cup of coffee. No doubt the ambience, mood and probably food also looked delectable, still I could sense that coffee wasn't upto the mark. As if figuring out my disappointment, Abhay spoke, "Zainab, why don't you get a cup of coffee for yourself? You need it before flying." I smiled and felt like hugging him. He knew that not only I wanted coffee, but I also wanted to be alone for sometime while our friends enjoyed drinks and we officially start our vacation. "That would be perfect. There's still a lot of time for boarding, I'll get my coffee by then." I spoke and didn't wait for a single second for the rest of the persons to try to convince me.  I quickly paved my way to Starbucks, ordered a cup of coffee and secured a table for myself. Once seated I checked my watch and the boarding wouldn't be starting for another 2 hrs...

Prologue- I was on a trip to Kasol with Shashank, my husband. While relishing my dinner, I bumped into Akshat. Akshat, the man I loved once. The man, I still love. My still. Even though I literally chickened out meeting him, at night when Shashank was sleeping, I went to meet Akshat.   I rung the bell and he opened it in less than a minute. He wasn’t surprised to see me. I went past him and he closed the door. Just like my room, his had a swing too. I snuggled comfortably on the swing. He looked at me and shook his head. He picked up whiskey bottle and poured me a generous amount and topped it up with ice and water. He handed me the glass and made coffee for himself. I smiled. He too. Even after all these years, we still knew each other. My attention turned to the TV. He was as usual watching some motorbike show. It was my time to nod now. We sat in silence for sometime. “Alia… I…” Before he could finish the sentence, I spoke. “Akshat, I’m not here to discuss what happened ...

It was that time of the year when all I desired was to be left alone. Over the years, I had realized that all I did (during this time) was to make people around me sad and at times angry. So, before they could vocalise it, I came up with an arrangement that I needed 10-15 days off so that I could do what I normally did- sulk and think. Now, before you get any wrong idea, the time I’m talking about is my birthday. My birthday used to be different. At least I used to celebrate it differently. Unlike others, I used to have pre birthday, birthday and post birthday. Trust me I don’t belong to a high society, but somehow my mother has always been more excited about my birthday than any other celebration. So, I was used to that. Used to the fact that I was cherished, not only on my birthday but every day by my mother (and yes, she loves me more than my father and my sister and they both know that). So, after she left birthdays became the most difficult days for me to pass. So, I decided ...

‘Beep.’ I woke up with a start. I have always been a light sleeper and at the same time afraid of even the little noises. I looked around and it took me a while to realise that I was in a fancy hotel of Gangtok. I checked my message and it was a spam. It was 6 am and I was in no mood to sleep anymore. I checked my phone and looked at what all commitments I had today. Thankfully, today was my off day. Yeah! Off day in Gangtok. Doesn’t it sound beautiful? Well, these are tiny perks when you work as a food and fashion blogger in one of the top magazine houses, plus you kind of head them too. My work had ended yesterday itself. I could have gone back home by the last flight, but I chose to stay back for two more days. I wanted to unwind myself and really explore this beautiful place. While sipping my coffee and sitting in my ultra-luxurious balcony with a stunning view, I decide to be the tourist that day who was on a mission to explore things for her own self rather than for anothe...

“Isn’t the room gorgeous?” Shashank asked me throwing his bags in the centre of the room while he inspected it. With a little irritation followed by a smile at his childlike curiosity, I put the luggage in the corner and started inspecting the room. It felt as if it was designed keeping me in my mind. There was a huge jacuzzi in the bathroom. The room had a large window overlooking the lofty snow clad Himalayas. Just near the window, there was a one person indoor swing with a small but spacious table in the front that would be ideal to keep my coffee mug while I am introspecting. The balcony presented a stunning view of lofty snow clad Himalayas. Last but not the least, there was a beautiful coffee table with stunning chairs, ideal for my alone morning coffee sessions. “I told you that this time mountains would be a better option as compared to your beaches.” Shashank hugged me from the back and I didn’t say it openly but yes it was a great option. I don’t know what came on to me. ...

I felt a bit cold and sneakily I touched my icy cold feet with Angad’s uber hot ones. Rather than flinching, he wrapped his feet with mine, so that I could warm up. I grinned from ear to ear. After all this is what he always does. Wraps up my flaws in himself. I got out of the quilt and icy cold wind welcomed me.  My clothes... damn I didn’t know where they were. I tried to find Angad’s shirt but I’m sure after our fervent love making, it would have been lying somewhere in the room. My feet touched the cold tiles and I muttered a curse.  Quickly I ran to the washroom and got myself a robe. No doubt it was over sized, but it served the purpose. Angad was sleeping peacefully and I felt like going back to the bed, waking him up and losing myself again, but then work was calling.  I switched on my laptop and started writing the travel blog that I had left in between shamelessly as making love to Angad at that time seemed more important.  It was just 1 am and I though...