Maa meri Maa.. Pyaari Maa.. Mumma
"It's 'cos of you that today I'm of no good. I told you that I wanted to do MBA, but no you wanted me to be a teacher so here I am... dissatisfied and frustrated and you are the reason behind it. From the beginning you knew that I had some talent in writing but you didn't even let me hon that. All were you concerned was about me getting married. I just have too many regrets from life itself and you are the reason for all of them."
Lying on the bed I tried to visit the memory lane of the events happened a few months ago. Even though today, I am working as an Assistant Professor in one of the reputed university and have a maiden entry of my paper in a National Journal and waiting for the publication in an International Journal, still I had or you can say have numerous regrets that would need at least a day to finish. however, the only difference in between me and I think the rest of the frustrated generation is that I held my mother responsible for my failures. I wasn't able to do an MBA- my Mom is responsible, wasn't able to do Mass Com. course from MICA- again Mom's the reason, became a teacher- it was due to her. In short, everything that bad happened in my life was 'cos of my Mom.
In few months, I would get married and leave my home forever. Though I'll be living in the same city however, things would be different than what are they today. Since my 1st day, I've been real close and special to my mother. Even though she maintains that she loves me and my sister in the same way, we both know that it is me she can do anything for. I and my mother have been each other's best friends and worst enemies. However, even though we fight like hell we both can't live without each other for even a single moment. Even though I've always blamed my mother for the worst career chosen for me, still in my hearts of heart I know that I couldn't have survived had I left the city and my Mom to pursue my dreams.
Still we fight, even though I'm 29 still I'm required to give a miss call to my mother as soon as I board my bus to college, reach college or even go out with friends. With my marriage just round the corner, there is hustle bustle everywhere. My mother is continuously worrying about how the things would be managed and like always, I'm giving her complete support and scolding on the pretext that everything would turn out to be great.
Till now I used to think that my mother is keen to get me married and won't even wait for the right guy to marry me off. However, today morning an unexpected thing happened. I was as usual scolding her for taking too much burden and pressure regarding the wedding errands when in a meek voice she said, "Ab to bas 2 months reh gaye."
"Hmm... I know Mom," was my curt reply.
"Deepa, jab tu chali jayegi main to akeli reh jaungi." Dad was with us but maybe he didn't hear the sentence or maybe it was only meant for my ears. I couldn't look at my mother but heard her voice which was frantically counting the tasks that were still left. It was this sentence that made me realize that maybe my mother was not so keen about me getting married, she did all this 'cos of the societal pressure. Maybe she just wanted that I remain close to her even though I'm touching new heights in my profession. Maybe just like any other mother she just wanted me to be with her so that I never forget the fact that she loves me the most.
Suddenly I couldn't breathe. My tears were choking me and I knew that I couldn't break down in front of her as I'll stop crying once I reach office but she probably wouldn't till the time I come back. She handed me my bag and looked at me expectedly. I hugged her and savored the feeling for a real long time. "I love you Mom." With these words without even waiting for her answer I rushed out of my house.
"Bye" my Mom screamed from the balcony and I knew that my mere 4 words not only changed her mood but also brought a smile on her face. I cursed myself for all the harsh words that I had inflicted on her in the past. However, one great thing till now has come of my wedding- I've realized that I love my mother more than anything.
Lying on the bed I tried to visit the memory lane of the events happened a few months ago. Even though today, I am working as an Assistant Professor in one of the reputed university and have a maiden entry of my paper in a National Journal and waiting for the publication in an International Journal, still I had or you can say have numerous regrets that would need at least a day to finish. however, the only difference in between me and I think the rest of the frustrated generation is that I held my mother responsible for my failures. I wasn't able to do an MBA- my Mom is responsible, wasn't able to do Mass Com. course from MICA- again Mom's the reason, became a teacher- it was due to her. In short, everything that bad happened in my life was 'cos of my Mom.
In few months, I would get married and leave my home forever. Though I'll be living in the same city however, things would be different than what are they today. Since my 1st day, I've been real close and special to my mother. Even though she maintains that she loves me and my sister in the same way, we both know that it is me she can do anything for. I and my mother have been each other's best friends and worst enemies. However, even though we fight like hell we both can't live without each other for even a single moment. Even though I've always blamed my mother for the worst career chosen for me, still in my hearts of heart I know that I couldn't have survived had I left the city and my Mom to pursue my dreams.
Still we fight, even though I'm 29 still I'm required to give a miss call to my mother as soon as I board my bus to college, reach college or even go out with friends. With my marriage just round the corner, there is hustle bustle everywhere. My mother is continuously worrying about how the things would be managed and like always, I'm giving her complete support and scolding on the pretext that everything would turn out to be great.
Till now I used to think that my mother is keen to get me married and won't even wait for the right guy to marry me off. However, today morning an unexpected thing happened. I was as usual scolding her for taking too much burden and pressure regarding the wedding errands when in a meek voice she said, "Ab to bas 2 months reh gaye."
"Hmm... I know Mom," was my curt reply.
"Deepa, jab tu chali jayegi main to akeli reh jaungi." Dad was with us but maybe he didn't hear the sentence or maybe it was only meant for my ears. I couldn't look at my mother but heard her voice which was frantically counting the tasks that were still left. It was this sentence that made me realize that maybe my mother was not so keen about me getting married, she did all this 'cos of the societal pressure. Maybe she just wanted that I remain close to her even though I'm touching new heights in my profession. Maybe just like any other mother she just wanted me to be with her so that I never forget the fact that she loves me the most.
Suddenly I couldn't breathe. My tears were choking me and I knew that I couldn't break down in front of her as I'll stop crying once I reach office but she probably wouldn't till the time I come back. She handed me my bag and looked at me expectedly. I hugged her and savored the feeling for a real long time. "I love you Mom." With these words without even waiting for her answer I rushed out of my house.
"Bye" my Mom screamed from the balcony and I knew that my mere 4 words not only changed her mood but also brought a smile on her face. I cursed myself for all the harsh words that I had inflicted on her in the past. However, one great thing till now has come of my wedding- I've realized that I love my mother more than anything.
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