Unknown Selves
It was in a party when I first saw Meera. Who she was I had no idea. I didn't even know her name. It was much later (after exact 4 months and 19 days) that I met her formally. Before this she was just a woman dressed in white gown.
"Can I meet Mrs Mehta?"
I was locking my apartment when her voice greeted me. I turned around and saw the face that haunted me all this while. "No, she has gone to Paris."
And she ran away like a mad woman. I don't know why but I also went after her. After a while I saw her sitting on a bench. I made her sit in my car and brought her to my studio. She looked at my paintings and was impressed a bit. I don't know why I had brought her there, I never even let Sakhi enter that place. (By the way, Sakhi is my wife)
"Meera, why you ran away?" I was confused a bit as I had no idea when she told me her name.
"It's 'cos your wife and my husband are having an affair."
I just looked at her and she continued. "They both have gone to Paris in the same airline. In the past 1 month my husband has called your wife 87 times whereas I have just got 32 calls. They have even been going to plays often."
I smoke the joint all the while, not saying a word. It's 'cos I knew Meera wasn't lying. Sakhi had always been a bold girl. Just a marriage would never stop her from having an affair. Meera started crying and I couldn't do anything to comfort her. Time took its toll and she fell asleep. There was a strange mixture of vulnerability and relaxation on her face while she slept. In the meanwhile I smoke the joints. To be frank nor once I thought about Sakhi cheating on me. I looked at my watch and decided to bring coffee for both of us.
But by the time I returned Meera was gone. i was a bit disappointed but continued with my painting. Now let me introduce myself. I'm Ashwini, married to woman of my dreams Sakhi. She's a PR head while I'm a struggling painter. Rest was never important.
The next day Meera was waiting for me outside my studio. I was surprised to see her as I had not expected her to be back after what happened the other day.
"Why did you leave me alone yesterday?
More than a question it was an accusation. "I just went to get some coffee for us."
"Oh, I thought you wanted me to leave that's why you also left."
Apparently she had some more proofs but I again didn't say anything. She again started crying. I think she wasn't crying of the fact that her marriage had fallen apart but that she ruined it for believing her husband. This time my comforting hands touched her, but suddenly they were not comforting anymore. Meera was a mystery, and being a painter I wanted to unfold it and wanted to see what lies beneath.
Now I won't use the words that it was amazing. Actually there are no words to describe it. It felt like we both for the 1st time shed our inhibitions and came face-to-face with our real selves. Afterall we both were same on some fronts. We both were a misfit in London. It wasn't like we had not adopted London, but London had never adopted us. I got up before Meera. She incited the painter's eye in me which was seeing something different. Without wasting a minute I started to draw Meera in parts. Her hands, feet, face hair, arms. By the time she got up I had several images of her.
Our relationship was complicated. We spent ample of time with one another. All this while we discussed about our respective spouses. What do they do when they are happy, hoe they proposed us and how sometimes they pamper us. But in the end we both solace in one another. Maybe it was our own way of telling each other that we deserve someone better. Or maybe we were just taking revenge by having an affair from our spouses.
Anyways days passed and we became more close to another. "Meera i want to paint you."
At that time she was painting my face and she just smiled. We got started from the next day. She wasn't worried about me painting her, but she was worried what if she couldn't pose the right way? But she did. And the pose was her sitting and looking at me. Now you might feel it's a normal pose. But her eyes and body language were inexpressible. Like she was asking me to break the barriers and come to her.
Soon the day arrived when our respective spouses returned from Paris. And we wen home to meet them. We were both excited as we were going to meet them after a long time. Even about the idea to see where the whole things would lead us now.
Sakhi appeared to be different. She looked guilt struck. She tried t make it up by making the best dishes and also suggested that we should plan a family (Sakhi had always hated kids). On the other hand, Karan (Meera's husband) spent quality time with her. But we still met daily to finish the painting. The day the painting completed, Meera told me that we would never meet agai. I also didn't say a word and smiled back like I accepted her challenge. She left soon.
After some months I exhibited my paintings. I had not heard of Meera all this while. Sakhi was enthralled at my success, My master painting was Meera's pose. As Sakhi had never seen Meera, she couldn't recognize her. I was sipping my champagne when I saw Meera entering the hall. She met my eyes and turned them to her portrait. Seeing her painting on the wall she smiled strangely. Like she was sure it would happen. Like she knew I would pass the challenge she posed.
On the other hand Sakhi and Karan were looking at us with a strange expression. They wanted to ask what was going on but couldn't as they were the ones who started it. With contentment Meera left the hall.
Karan tried to win over Meera by telling her what all he had planned for her. But even he didn't realise that it was too late now. Meera stood up, removed her wedding ring and came out of the house with her luggage. On the other hand, Sakhi was giving an interview how she always believed I would be successful one day. The moment my champagne finished I looked up at Sakhi and smiled. She froze then and there. Like she knew what was coming. And I walked out of the room.
I and Meera came back to India. She's working as a column writer and I'm a painter only. We are happy. In love? Well love is a small word. Even our silence completes us. Today also whenever I start a new painting I make Meera pose for me. Maybe 'cos it'sour only way to find out who we are.
"Can I meet Mrs Mehta?"
I was locking my apartment when her voice greeted me. I turned around and saw the face that haunted me all this while. "No, she has gone to Paris."
And she ran away like a mad woman. I don't know why but I also went after her. After a while I saw her sitting on a bench. I made her sit in my car and brought her to my studio. She looked at my paintings and was impressed a bit. I don't know why I had brought her there, I never even let Sakhi enter that place. (By the way, Sakhi is my wife)
"Meera, why you ran away?" I was confused a bit as I had no idea when she told me her name.
"It's 'cos your wife and my husband are having an affair."
I just looked at her and she continued. "They both have gone to Paris in the same airline. In the past 1 month my husband has called your wife 87 times whereas I have just got 32 calls. They have even been going to plays often."
I smoke the joint all the while, not saying a word. It's 'cos I knew Meera wasn't lying. Sakhi had always been a bold girl. Just a marriage would never stop her from having an affair. Meera started crying and I couldn't do anything to comfort her. Time took its toll and she fell asleep. There was a strange mixture of vulnerability and relaxation on her face while she slept. In the meanwhile I smoke the joints. To be frank nor once I thought about Sakhi cheating on me. I looked at my watch and decided to bring coffee for both of us.
But by the time I returned Meera was gone. i was a bit disappointed but continued with my painting. Now let me introduce myself. I'm Ashwini, married to woman of my dreams Sakhi. She's a PR head while I'm a struggling painter. Rest was never important.
The next day Meera was waiting for me outside my studio. I was surprised to see her as I had not expected her to be back after what happened the other day.
"Why did you leave me alone yesterday?
More than a question it was an accusation. "I just went to get some coffee for us."
"Oh, I thought you wanted me to leave that's why you also left."
Apparently she had some more proofs but I again didn't say anything. She again started crying. I think she wasn't crying of the fact that her marriage had fallen apart but that she ruined it for believing her husband. This time my comforting hands touched her, but suddenly they were not comforting anymore. Meera was a mystery, and being a painter I wanted to unfold it and wanted to see what lies beneath.
Now I won't use the words that it was amazing. Actually there are no words to describe it. It felt like we both for the 1st time shed our inhibitions and came face-to-face with our real selves. Afterall we both were same on some fronts. We both were a misfit in London. It wasn't like we had not adopted London, but London had never adopted us. I got up before Meera. She incited the painter's eye in me which was seeing something different. Without wasting a minute I started to draw Meera in parts. Her hands, feet, face hair, arms. By the time she got up I had several images of her.
Our relationship was complicated. We spent ample of time with one another. All this while we discussed about our respective spouses. What do they do when they are happy, hoe they proposed us and how sometimes they pamper us. But in the end we both solace in one another. Maybe it was our own way of telling each other that we deserve someone better. Or maybe we were just taking revenge by having an affair from our spouses.
Anyways days passed and we became more close to another. "Meera i want to paint you."
At that time she was painting my face and she just smiled. We got started from the next day. She wasn't worried about me painting her, but she was worried what if she couldn't pose the right way? But she did. And the pose was her sitting and looking at me. Now you might feel it's a normal pose. But her eyes and body language were inexpressible. Like she was asking me to break the barriers and come to her.
Soon the day arrived when our respective spouses returned from Paris. And we wen home to meet them. We were both excited as we were going to meet them after a long time. Even about the idea to see where the whole things would lead us now.
Sakhi appeared to be different. She looked guilt struck. She tried t make it up by making the best dishes and also suggested that we should plan a family (Sakhi had always hated kids). On the other hand, Karan (Meera's husband) spent quality time with her. But we still met daily to finish the painting. The day the painting completed, Meera told me that we would never meet agai. I also didn't say a word and smiled back like I accepted her challenge. She left soon.
After some months I exhibited my paintings. I had not heard of Meera all this while. Sakhi was enthralled at my success, My master painting was Meera's pose. As Sakhi had never seen Meera, she couldn't recognize her. I was sipping my champagne when I saw Meera entering the hall. She met my eyes and turned them to her portrait. Seeing her painting on the wall she smiled strangely. Like she was sure it would happen. Like she knew I would pass the challenge she posed.
On the other hand Sakhi and Karan were looking at us with a strange expression. They wanted to ask what was going on but couldn't as they were the ones who started it. With contentment Meera left the hall.
Karan tried to win over Meera by telling her what all he had planned for her. But even he didn't realise that it was too late now. Meera stood up, removed her wedding ring and came out of the house with her luggage. On the other hand, Sakhi was giving an interview how she always believed I would be successful one day. The moment my champagne finished I looked up at Sakhi and smiled. She froze then and there. Like she knew what was coming. And I walked out of the room.
I and Meera came back to India. She's working as a column writer and I'm a painter only. We are happy. In love? Well love is a small word. Even our silence completes us. Today also whenever I start a new painting I make Meera pose for me. Maybe 'cos it'sour only way to find out who we are.
Beautiful..
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