Let's Get Lost

            I scanned the room. It was full of so called ‘High Society people who were dressed in nothing less than Gucci or Prada.’ I looked at my own blood red gown and even though it wasn’t from a high end brand still I had paid a fortune for it and the result had been mind-blowing till now. The gown hugged my figure like it was tailor made and I secretly thanked those long tedious hours in gym that had got me into such a figure. I was on another round of wine when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

            “Hey Tamanna, congratulations for the success of the Ad-campaign. You did an amazing job.” I smiled faintly at the compliment generously thrown at me by my boss’s wife and thanked her for being appreciative. I indulged in a bland conversation with her and all the while she bragged about her recent trip to Paris I couldn’t help but pray that someone should come to my rescue.

            Finally when she realized that I wasn’t questioning anything about her extravagant trip to Paris, she decided to look out for somebody who would be more interested than me. I was bored and wanted to run away. I checked my watch and was astonished to see that just an hour had passed. There was no way I could leave at that time. I had to suffer for another hour or so before I could exit coyly.

            There was a time when I prayed endlessly to be a part of such social parties. The glitz and glamor had always fascinated me. Probably because of this, I was the only one in my family who dared to take up a career in Public Relations when my ancestors and my parents have been nothing else except doctors. I spotted a chair at the corner and its sight made me realize that my feet were aching due to 5 inch stilettos. I excused myself from everyone and rushed towards the chair. Once comfortably seated, I ordered for Vodka and decided to visit my memory lane. It had been a hell of a shock for my parents when I told them that I wanted to do Mass Communications instead of sitting in for PMT exams. My dad even threatened to disown me but I was adamant too. I was allowed to Mass Communication, but I guessed my father never forgave me. After that we only became distant. My mother tried to fill in the gap but the constant reminder that his daughter didn’t opt for the family occupation was enough for him to remain at an arm’s length from me.

            My relationship with my father was already strained and my mother was facing the consequences. So, the day came when my father told me that he couldn’t see my traitor’s face anymore and asked me to leave the house but promised that he would help me financially as it was his duty. Like any other self-respecting girl I didn’t throw the money at his face. He only said it that it was his duty to help me financially so, I let him do it. I got admission in top Mass Communication School in India and in no matter of time I landed in a good job.

            The noise of Jazz playing in the background halted my train of thoughts. God! This was only thing left. No doubt I like Jazz but when I’m in mood for it. My stomach growled and I realized that I had had drinks empty stomach that weren’t good for my system. As if sensing my discomfort a waiter presented me with mouth-watering kebabs. Had I not been in this party, I would have gladly taken a handful and ate them. But sophistication is the key word in these kinds of parties. Even if somebody is dying of hunger still we have to play the sophistication card. So, with panache I took one kebab and started munching it.

            I wondered what the people talked about at such parties. Probably stock market, cut throat competition or they tried to find their competitors weaknesses that they could use for their benefit at the right time. I decided that my train of thoughts were more interesting than staring at the people. I still remember that day nicely. It was almost past midnight when I got a call from my mother. It had been almost 2 years since my parents had contacted me. I tried to pacify them initially but after a point of time I also gave up. Hearing my mother’s voice on the phone that night made me emotional and I started crying. My mother urged me to come home as she had devised a plan with which we could be united once again. Without another thought, I packed my bags and left for Bangalore.

            My father wasn’t excited to see me but I was prepared for that. My mother told me that my parents had searched a doctor boy for me and if I wanted the relationship back to normal among us then I would have to marry the guy. I had missed my parents enough that without giving it a thought I said yes and in matter of no time I was married. Problems started soon enough. I had forgotten that all this while when my parents had left me on my own I had become a free spirited personality and the shackles of marriage couldn’t bind me now. I wanted to work, he didn’t want me to as he thought it would be not appropriate for a respectable doctor’s wife to devise plans for endorsing products. He wanted kids and I didn’t. He wanted a normal husband-wife relationship and I alone couldn’t bear to see his face. I told my parents that I wanted a divorce and that day in the court I not only divorced my husband but my family too.

            A tear prickled my eyes and I wiped it off cleverly so that nobody was able to spot me in that state. I went to the bar and decided to get something strong for myself. After my divorce, I started working aggressively and in no matter of time I was climbing the stairs of success. I fell in love with my work and the returns that I was getting. Swag of my tequila shot gave me the control on myself once again. I checked my watch once again and realized that I could leave now. I was about to exit when I saw somebody that made it impossible for me to leave. He was talking to my boss and other hot shot guys and they all started marvelling his photographs.

            “Hey dear, where have you been? I was looking for you.” Hearing my best friend Avantika’s voice was the second best thing that had happened in the party till now. Well, the first and the foremost was him only.

            “I was here only. I guess only you were busy with your boyfriend.” All the while I spoke to Avantika my eyes were fixed on him. It was like my eyes didn’t even want to miss his single move.

            “Get a grip on yourself girl. It feels like you’ll eat him alive.” I smiled at Avantika’s teasing comment and hooked my eyes where they were earlier. In no time she got irritated and forcibly made me look at her. “Tammana, will you stop doing that. Comeon, you are PR of an MNC and with this new Ad also a model, I’m sure you can do better than that.”

            I smiled again and as if under a spell I fixed my stare at him. This was enough to unleash the animal in Avantika. “I just don’t get it what you see in him. He’s an average guy with no dressing sense.”

            “You’re being shallow now Avi. What has dressing sense got to do with anything that I feel for him?”

             “I just don’t understand why you like him so much. I made you meet such a handsome guy and he’s so interested in you. I still can’t imagine you said no to that Greek God for this man.”

            As if sensing my eyes on him, his eyes searched me and on finding me he smiled which was enough to make my heart skip a beat. Avantika saw my reaction and it was enough to make her go out of control. “Tamanna, I have already seen you in enough pain and I don’t think I’ve the power in me to see you suffer more. Please stop torturing yourself. The moment you see him it feels he’s the centre of your universe. You’re no longer yourself. Look at me Tami,” even though she tried to keep her voice low but I knew she was damn angry.

            “Listen babes, I know you are totally I don’t remain myself when he’s near me but I have no control on it.” Avantika could have thrown the glass on the floor to prove her point but somehow she didn’t. Taking cue that she would listen to me I continued, “You are right in this also that he’s the centre of my universe. Do you know how it is to feel the bond with someone like gravity isn’t the one holding you to the ground but it’s him? I agree he’s an average guy. Had I not known him I might not have spared him with a second glance. But now as I do I can’t do anything else except looking at him.”

            I took another tequila shot and gulped it. Talking about him made me happy as if a child has been given a Christmas present by Santa Claus himself. “I know it’s insane but I feel an unnamed need for him. He’s like meditation to me. He helps me to see myself in the way I have never. You really think that my pictures could have begot same results had I not felt such powerful need for him and had they been clicked by someone else?”

            “Does he even feel something for you or are you the only one who is ready to turn your world upside down for him?”

            I caught his sight while he was walking towards me. I kept the glass on the counter and before walking away answered Avantika, “I know he does but even if he doesn’t it won’t make any difference.”

            Not waiting for an answer I strode towards his direction and met him in the middle of the hall. He steadied me and asked accusingly, “Don’t you think you have had too many drinks?”

            I smiled and whispered, “Probably.”

            “I’m really getting bored at this party. How am I to make people understand how come I have shot such candid shots of yours?” I just watched him all this while when he suddenly asked, “Do you want to ditch this party?”

            “Absolutely.”

            He smiled for a fraction of second and asked with a quirked eyebrow, “Where do you want to go?”

            I took his hand and exited from the maddening crowd and said, “Let’s get lost.”